Victoria of dVerse poets has set the challenge to write a lai this week. This is an old French form: a nine-line poem that uses a rhyme scheme following this pattern:
aab
aab
aab.
The lines with an “a” rhyme use 5 syllables;
the “b” rhyme lines only have 2 syllables.
Quite a challenge to convey any sort of meaning within such strict parameters but I gave it a go anyway!
Listening to the rain
Soothes my weary brain
At night
I can only feign
Sleep, the night’s refrain
Till light
Morning brings fresh pain
Of thought once again
For spite
This is written to the form perfectly and so on target for many of us poet-types who seem to be born insomniacs. That could be a fascinating study. Thanks for joining in, Diana.
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Thank you! I love these challenges 😊
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You’ve done a brilliant job with the form, Diana, and I agree:
‘Listening to the rain
Soothes my weary brain
At night’.
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Thanks. And it IS raining as I write…!
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I love what you did here… I feel it’s bedtime so this is perfect for me.
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Thanks! It was tricky and I can’t say I like what I ended up with but hey, I tried! Lol
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I love this, especially:
“Sleep, the night’s refrain”
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Thank you, that means a lot to me, especially coming from such a talented poet!
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It’s storming here, so there won’t be much sleeping done. I like your finishing thought. I’d never imagined the morning being spiteful before.
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Oh yes, to insomniacs like me, daybreak is a bitch! Lol
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I’ve noticed it usually comes just as I’m falling asleep…
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I hope tomorrow brings less pain. Nice lai.
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Thanks Frank, hope so too! Am averaging 4 hours’ sleep a night…☹️
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Beautifully done … and describes many of my own nights!
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Sadly, it’s true 😂
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Me too. Yes, I can relate to this and that’s what a poet does – relate pain to others – makes for a more compassionate person. The form is spot-on!
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Glad you liked it, thanks for commenting! 😊
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Bravo!
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Thanks 😊
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Great description on insomnia in 9 lines. Well written.
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Thanks! 😊
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I thought this came out great and you fit a lot in a small space!
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Thank you 😊
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I pray that you may
have a restful lai
tonight!
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😂😂😂
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feigning sleep — oh yes. That is definitely insomnia. Been there — eyes closed so tight and hoping sleep comes….if I pretend I’m sleeping, take the posture of sleep, surely it will come!
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A sister in sleeplessness!
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I remember days like that…not fun…but it’s a sweet poem.
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That’s a first – never had my work described as “sweet” before lol
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I love rain’s sweet respite from night’s refrain. The pitter, patter on the tin roof is a concert all it’s own. Makes me want a nap…
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First three lines were very pleasant while the last three lines were raw and beatiful!
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What happened in the middle LOL? Thank you for your lovely comment. Stop by any time 😊
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Oh I’m still trying to find the fitting tribute for the middle three lines! No problem at all!
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😂
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Brilliant! Don’t know how you manage to put so much into such few words – and respecting such strict rules!
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Wow! You like this?? You never cease to surprise me! Thanks! 😂😊
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